A Fool-Proof Discipline Strategy

     Forget about counting to three and time outs. I've got a brand new system and it hasn't failed yet. Knock on wood!  I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement.  When you child does something good you reinforce that good behavior by giving a compliment.  It's tricky though because you don't want to teach the child that every time they do something right they get a compliment.  Because let's face it when was the last time anyone gave you a compliment when you did something right?  It doesn't happen often.  The point is that with positive reinforcement your child will know that they did something right and it is appreciated. Also, the more they know they are doing a good job the more they will continue the good behavior or good habits. For instance when Parker sneezes and covers his mouth I'll say "Thank you for covering your mouth. That keeps everyone from getting sick." Or if he throws away his own trash I remind him that he's being such a big helper. 
     Now for the fail safe system.....I have a box filled with toys or books that Parker doesn't know about.  I'll pick a random moment (so he doesn't expect it every time) when he's doing something good and let him pick a toy.  However, when he doesn't do what I ask or throws a tantrum I ask him to bring me one of his toys.  He knows that his bad behavior resulted in one of his toys being taken away.  He earns the chance to redeem himself and get a toy back if he does something good.  The good behavior is still being rewarded but in a way in which he won't expect a new toy every time.  It's as simple as taking away a toy and letting him earn it back.  The system has seemed to work so far. His tantrums stop mere seconds after they begin if I ask for a toy. I think that's the key. Ask for a toy don't demand it.  Explain that if the bad behavior continues you'll take a toy but his toy is safe if he stops behaving that way.  This reminds them that what they are doing is not ok.  Redemption is the easy part and rewarding for both you and your child.  I wouldn't stop at just good behavior but I would go as far as promoting learning something new.  Good behavior could be a number of things; Random acts of kindness, having initiative to pick up toys or trash, being polite, learning something new, etc.
        This system isn't for all children because some kids don't care if you take their toys and maybe time out works for them.  However, if you are at wits end and find yourself yelling more than you'd like maybe you should give this a shot.  You won't be finding yourself making empty threats that you will never follow through on and the best part is that it's positive reinforcement which means no more saying no or don't do that! A great part about it is that you can continue with this method long after those terrible two's and/or three's. Every child deserves encouragement and they should get it if they are doing something the right way.  It establishes right from wrong and gives them the room to decide it for themselves.  Maybe it'll work with homework in the future!