Words of Wisdom Part I

  A friend of mine sent me an article from a news paper one in hopes that I would enjoy the sentiment of it.  It was an article written about a local woman who was turning 100 yrs old.  In the article the journalist asked the woman if she had any advice for the rest of the world on life.  She said, "I do. In fact I have 45 ways to help everyone live a happy, satisfying life."  
         I am going to share with you her 45 statements on how to really enjoy life.  They are all seemingly simply yet so profound.  But, I trust she knows what she's talking about. After all she's lived a hundred years.  I will be doing this in a nine part series and please feel free to comment and give your thoughts.

        1.  Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 
        2.  When in doubt, just take the next small step.
        3.  Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
        4.  Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends and parents will.                       
                        STAY IN TOUCH!!!!!!
        5.   Pay off your credit cards every month.


I love this article because it gives insight from a prospective none of us can even imagine.  I have no way of being able to predict my future and I don't think it's likely God will come out and tell me his plans.  These 45 statements are her failed and succeeded attempts on life.  These lessons are straight from the mind of someone who's lived through more trying times than any of use (at least most of us) have .

A reason for everything that happens?

Being a bipolar single mom is not at all easy.  I rely heavily on my faith to get me through the day but sometimes I still find myself asking "WHY".  I am, like most in our nation, currently working at a low paying job that hardly pays the bills and is emotionally draining because of various budget cuts.  I do not get any help financially from my son's father and if I do it is random and very little. I have a college degree but was not satisfied with my career choice.  I still have no clue what it is that will fulfill my career desires but as for now I am a single mom who needs to take care of her son.  I took a job that I thought would be a lot less stressful than other more demanding ones but it ended up being stressful anyway.  I ask God constantly to guide me in the most successful direction for my son and myself.  There have been many subtle changes but I'm still at this low paying dead end job.  As of lately I have been finding it very difficult to rely on my faith because it has become so strained by the tasks that I have to do on a daily basis.  This last week I finally broke down by the stress of it all.  I have to take care of my 4 yr old son (which I love to do but can be very demanding at this age especially), take care of myself, take care of the bills, take care of the household things, and the list goes on.  I called on my mother to bring me back from this pit of discouragement I was in and she said something quite profound.  I told her that I was so discouraged at my job and I can't ever seem to catch up.  My job stresses me to the point of illness and high anxiety.  I think to myself often how worth it is a job that has such "side effects".  I confessed that I was starting to believe God had momentarily given up on me even though I know in my heart that he has a great plan for me and my son.  I then said, "There's got to be a reason that I am at the job I am, Right?"  In which my mother replied," Of course God has a reason for you being there. It may not be a lot of money in your pocket but he's allowing you to put food on your table. You are providing shelter for your child.  That's his plan for now."  I think that my jaw had reached the floor at this point.  I was speechless.  I honestly had no words and was struck with such humility that the rest of the day I was truly humbled.  I thought to myself.....yes, my job sucks and sometimes it is difficult to get up in the morning knowing that I have to go to THAT place, the place that makes me sick to my stomach and give me a knot in my throat.  These things are all true and I DO want more out of life and sometimes I DO think that I am better than THAT place or deserve more than that job.  I ask God so many times, "If this is where I am suppose to be just show me or if I am suppose to be somewhere else give me a sign."  It wasn't until my mother told me the obvious did I actually realize that he WAS showing me all the signs.  I was being ungrateful and there was a lesson there but on top of it all he had me at THAT job to survive.  Truly the most profound statement of my week.  It's not a career, it's not glamorous, it's not even satisfying, and certainly doesn't make me feel good about myself but I am surviving and doing the best I can to be a mother who can provide for her child.  Thank you God for allowing me to have THAT job!  A true story of being humbled by the lord above, who I know (and will never forget) will always provide for me and my family!

The Reason for my Failed Spending Fast?

Alright I may be stretching this just a bit by making it my excuse but the honest truth is that what I am about to write has a lot of substance to it.
I recently signed up for an email subscription for tips on handling/saving money.  Some of the notices sent don't pertain to me in my life currently but I do find many of them useful.  The most recent article sent intrigued me and I wanted to share it along with a few of my own struggles.  The title was enough to make me want to read it.  "How hormones can sabotage your spending."  Geared for us ladies obviously! Hmmm!  I thought it might be nice to know the "science" behind that.  Apparently, out brains can be EXTRA sensitive and vulnerable two particular times in 28 days.  Like we didn't know that already?  Still, I ventured deeper into the article.  The two particular times are around ovulation and the week right before your period.  Why? Well, it seems that during the time of ovulation you brain can send signals making you feel FLIRTY.  This often times prompts you to buy more clothes and make up than usual.  Makes a  little sense.  Then, the week before your period begins your brain strikes once again with vulneravility.  In turn that makes us long for comfort.  As a distraction we turn to shopping for that comfort.  As the article from dailyworth.com put it, if you are feeling "financially frisky"  it may be caused by your hormones. 
        I am not shameful to say that I have bipolar disorder and the latter information in the article seems to apply to me ten-fold.  I often times find myself buying things to feel a void of comfort.  I have no true logical explination for it other than it makes me feel good to spend money sometimes.  I buy things that make me feel pretty, things that make me feel creative, and things that make me feel good in general.  I am a self-professed shop-a-holic who truly has an addiction to spending money.  I don't know if that is a real thing or not but I have it!  It can become difficult for me at any given moment of any given day to stop myself from spending money on things I really don't need.  The spending fast was to help me gain discipline over this addiction or really bad habit.  It was suppose to show me that I can live with what I already have without cluttering my life with other illogical things.  And most importantly I am worth more than material things!  So, my spending fast continues for yet another 30 days.

30-Day Spending Fast

My 30-day deadline is fast approaching and I haven't written a single post since the first. Shame on me for not keeping my word but mostly for breaking my spending fast after the first day......!!!  Was it worth it?  No! The answer is a BIG. FAT. NO!  I spent my hard earned money on Dr. Pepper from Sonic.  It is hard for me to pass up a chance to get an ice cold soda on a hot South Louisiana day.  Ugh, the disappointment I feel.  Even though Dr. Pepper's are my guilty pleasure it wasn't the only thing I spent money on.  I did get a few good deals on party supplies that I will be using at the end of the year for my son's 5th birthday.  I mean really good deals!!!!!! I just couldn't pass it up.  However, if I don't get a hold of my finances he might not get that birthday party after all.  So, my 30-day spending fasting was not the huge success I had hoped for but I am not giving up.  I intend to continue this until I get it right.  I think it is a good lesson and a great continuing habit.

My Attempt @ A Spending Fast

I'm going to just jump right into this blog and I would like to start off by saying......"I am a shop-a-holic who is toeing the line of hoarding."  I currently do not have any rhyme or reason to the things I keep only that I buy what I see and like (especially if it's on sale).  I even think my addiction to keeping things has trickled to my online life.  I say this because I will be the first person to join a site just for the daily/weekly email updates.  And I admit I hardly ever actually open or read them.  My obsessions must stem from some deep seeded repressed feelings but I suppose that's a story for another post.....  The one daily newsletter update I actually opened and read gave me a mission to better my spending habits and possibly rid myself of the burden of debts or spending addiction.  Although it wasn't meant for me personally it was aimed at those of us who have debt or simply can't save a dime from month to month.  I looked at it as a personal challenge and it came at the beginning of a new month.  Tomorrow will be June 1st and I intend to pray and will myself through the next 30 days to spend no unnecessary money.  Through the grace of God on my side maybe I can save myself from my own monetary destruction and better the living for my son and I.  One day I will get to the point that I will feel comfortable with my finances and lifestyle.  As of now.....I am a single mother living on my own and working a part-time job trying to take care of my 4 yr old son.  I do have a problem with spending unnecessary money and not saving for a "rainy day".  It makes me think that I am not putting my son's health and safety as a priority and maybe through this challenge I will end up with the discipline to make things right in our lives.  Keep looking for my posts on my "spending fast".  I'll let you know what deal I felt like I couldn't pass up but did and I'll give you the tips on how I walked away from a good deal.  More info on the "spending fast" coming soon.

An Unexpected Insirpation

      I have to be completely honest with myself and to the general census of my readers (If i have any out there).  I don't know about the rest of the world but as far as I am concerned I only think of my job as a pay check, a way to live and raise my son.  It's no big surprise that I do not go to work to make a difference in other people's lives.  In this point in my life I had to make the decision to start over and get back to basics.  I am a bipolar, single mom with very little support (Thank you to those who are my support systems) and this means I don't handle stress as well as the next person.  I have only just recently learned about being bipolar and it has been quite over whelming.  For me, I decided to not focus on a career (because I found myself failing at life momentarily) and to focus on repairing my health for my only son who depends on me.  But I digress. My point isn't to explain my health but to share some words of wisdom from an unexpected source.  I work for a very large retail corporation who essentially wants to help families save more money so they can enjoy life. As life should be enjoyed without a failing economy. And as much as I believe this was the intention, it is not the main priority anymore.  The unfortunate truth is that we just need you to spend your money to put into their pockets.  I have to make a living too but my job is just that...a place to make a check.  Nothing particularly inspirational about that.  I am the kind of person that enjoys helping others and when I am there I do my best to greet people and let them know that not all of us are trying to steal their money to make it up that corporate ladder.  Every morning we are called into a meeting where we get preached to about how to make the customers happy so they spend more and yada, yada, yada. On one particular morning though I was in a mood to listen and really hear their message. * And here is where the real story begins* One manager said (mainly to those who come to work and expect to get paid because they showed up) "IF IT MEANS SOMETHING TO US, WE MAKE IT HAPPEN; IF IT DOESN'T, WE MAKE EXCUSES".
     Think about that for a moment....when was the last time you made an excuse?  When was the last time you did something because you felt passionate about something?  Was it for someone else or was it out of vain?  It got me thinking about my life. Including work, friends, my duty and role as a mother, my role as a person, my disability.  What she said really rattled my brain.  I work to live but most importantly I work to give my son the chance to live.  What is it that matters in life? A lot of time I lose track of the important, necessary things in life. I am often making excuses for things I do not like, things that mean nothing to me.  My challenge for myself is to stop making excuses and start coming up with reasons why things should be more important to me.  Life is hard for everyone for many different reasons.  As hard as it may be for us, we have to take charge and make life mean something to us.  I developed my motto for myself a little while ago (even though it meant something different when I came up with it) and I am confident enough to share it on my blog. My life motto is: MAKE EVERY DAY A STORY WORTH TELLING!  Start creating your stories and stop creating excuses.

Mental Health Awareness Month

May isn't only for celebrating mothers it is also for bringing awareness to the general public about mental health issues.  There is such a great stigma about mental illness.  It affects everyone around you no matter age, sex, race, or religion.  1 in 3 people are affected by debilitating depression, anxiety, or panic attacks at one point in their lives.  It could be your husband, your teenage son or daughter, it even affects adolescents as young as 5 and 6.  Just remember it is all around you. You may not suffer from it yourself but chances are you know someone who is dealing with it right now in their own lives.  Depression, anxiety, and panic attacks are NOT a sign of weakness! They are signs of having tried to remain calm for too long!  If you are suffering let it be know to someone you trust.  If you are close to someone who is suffering.....(even though truthfully it will be very difficult) lend a helping hand and try not to judge.  People who suffer from any form of mental illness (including myself)  are doing just that, suffering.  Life is hard enough but when you have a debilitating illness that isn't actually visible to those around you it makes healing and recovering a very miserable process.  Mental health advocates ask those of us who are mentally ill or know someone who is mentally ill to take a stand against stigma.  Wear a lime green ribbon to represent you or your loved ones.  When people ask you what it's for.....proudly tell them that you are fighting to break the stigma of mental health issues.  Join the fight for a group of people who want nothing more than normalcy in their lives!

A Review of Our Impromptu Vacation

It's been two weeks and I never posted anything since we returned from New
Orleans.  I often put my writing and blogging on the back burner when it comes to my emotional ups and downs.  I have returned though and I am here to tell you about our last minute trip.  I am pretty avid when it comes to saving money but there are times when I feel too lazy to spend the time searching for that good deal.  I must admit this little impromptu get away gave me little time to prepare to save money and once I was there I really didn't want to waste a minute.  There were a few things I did save on such as the hotel, parking, and a few attractions.  The hotel as I explained before was a steal.  I bid @ priceline.com and got a spectacular room for a spectacular price.  That was big saving number 1!!!!! After getting such an affordable deal we were able to spend a little more on food. I was somewhat disappointed to not get as many deals at restaurants but if there is one thing you should splurge on in New Orleans it's the food!!!  We did a lot of walking which saved us on gas and parking.  Our hotel was a short walk to all of the great things to see and do.  We valet parked at our hotel for $28 a night with unlimited access in and out as long as we were staying there. It might seem like a lot but to park anywhere in New Orleans it'll cost you.  For instance you might pay $20 for 4 hour parking.  So, I think we got a good deal on that one.  As far as attractions go we got a truly great deal that I believe is an on going promotion for 2012.  We paid $35/adult and $19/child to see the aquarium, zoo, IMAX, and the insect museum.  All of these places were quite interesting to see and fun for all ages.  The aquarium has public viewing for shark feedings a few days a week so that might be something to think of  when planning to go there.  The Audubon zoo is a short drive or bus ride from the aquarium.  Our party decided to take the bus for $1.25 that way we didn't have to worry about getting lost and it was a nice break from all the walking we were doing.  Also, a great way to see the city on a small budget.  Hopefully this is only one of the very many adventures for the year.  Each time we take and adventure you are sure to hear about it and learn some of my budget shortcuts that may help you plan your own adventure.

Vacation Excitement Insomnia

As I watch the clock I grow weary but not enough to fall asleep.  I look around me, there is nothing but darkness except for my bedside lamp and the sounds of the night.  Why can't I just shut my eyes and doze off like my rambunctious 4 yr old?  Not to mention the two lazy bone dogs sleeping soundly at the edge of my bed.  Mr. Sandman bring me some sleep. My excitement is somewhat over whelming for just a short weekend trip down I-10.  I just can't help it! I am excited to show my son a different part of our culture and even though he is only 4 I know that this will be a very interesting experience for him.  I am opening his eyes to new perspectives and I think that is so important to young children.  I am determined to show him things that I have seen and even things I have yet to bare witness.  My aspirations as a mother is to broaden his horizons and give him the opportunity to make his own unbiased opinions. Well, I'm off to count sheep or at least try.  I certainly need to because I will be the one driving. Good night, er, good morning all!

An Impromptu Weekend Get Away!

  I am happy to say that my resolutions for the year are coming along quite nicely.  At the end of the year I will happily disclose all that I have done.  Let's get back to the here and now shall we?  One of my resolutions is to show my son the world and take him on as many adventures as I can.  This Friday we are leaving for New Orleans with a family friend.  We live in South Louisiana and N.O. is only a 2-3 hr drive from where we live.  It was entirely unplanned and spontaneous in every sense of the word.  I called up a friend of mine on Tuesday and said, "Hey you want to go with me and Parker to New Orleans this weekend?"  She of course replied with a seemingly thrilled "Yea sure".  The reason I chose this weekend to go to the Crescent City is because my mom and her boyfriend went on a cruise and will be returning on Sunday.  How fun will it be for my 4 yr old to see his Mammie stepping off this big ship?  I may be more excited than him but as a mommy on a budget you can't get more of a cheap attraction than watching a ship dock in the port!  Plus, a bonus for them too because they have no idea we will be there!  The only thing we planned was a trip to the zoo and aquarium.  Everything else we will decide once we get there.  Unfortunately, I didn't know that the renowned Jazz Fest was this same weekend.  Bummer right?  Because the Jazz Fest is huge and hotels book up fast!  The hotels who still have rooms available jack up the prices to unreasonable prices.  I was looking and all the hotels in safe areas that were more than flea bag dumps ranged from $250 - $400 a NIGHT!  The idea of an impromptu vacation seemed to slip away just as quickly as it appeared.  However, I wasn't giving up (this momma certainly doesn't give up until she finds a deal)!  I headed straight to all the web site I knew of that could get me the good prices.  Everyone of them said the same thing....hundreds of dollars for one night.  I was not having that.  I went to priceline.com and decided to try bidding for the first time ever. *Note: I waited until the day before to bid on a room.  The reason I did this was because if they did have any rooms left the hotels would want to fill up to capacity; leaving them more likely to accept my low priced bid.  I won a 3- star hotel in the Warehouse/garden/arts district for $95 a night! SCORE!  This hotel was going for $289 a night and the area is the most beautiful of all of downtown New Orleans.  Might I add walking distance to everything and just a couple of blocks to the port where my mom's ship will be docking.  So, stay tuned for more of our impromptu vacation.  I have already mentioned my first deal of the trip and there will be plenty more.  I can't wait to share all of the places we will go and the things we will see. Until next time...............

Year Four!

It is just the second month of the new year and only two months into my son's fourth year of life and already it is proving to be very challenging. You always here people talk about the terrible two's but no one really says anything about kids until their pre-teen/teen years. My Parker Michael is very fun and I enjoy watching him grow and learn. However, he has really started to perfect pushing my buttons and toeing the line between well behaved and a little rascal! He hasn't gotten to the lying stage yet but her certainly knows how to make excuses. I am a single mother and enjoy motherhood more than anything in the world but doing it alone has been difficult on more occasions than I can count. (Even if I hate to admit I can't always do it on my own). Being a single mom makes my funds lower than I am comfortable with, my time for myself and my little one far and few between, my energy low, and my daily Tasks multiplied. Needless to say I am in a funk as a mom and as an individual. As I mentioned in previous posts I am also bipolar and between learning about my new diagnosis and trying to find the right medications life has gotten a little more difficult than anticipated. But I have a lot of faith and I know this is going to be harder than I would choose but I can do This! In fact, I have to for my budding four yr old who needs more discipline in his life! As scared as I am about our futures I am also very excited about a new chapter in our lives. Each year as my son grows older I get Wiser as a mother and as an individual. Each new chapter is a new adventure for us because we are doing it together and it helps us bond in a way no one can really understand but us. Soon he will be sTarting school and trying sports and other activities that I cannot wait to begin making those memories! So if you are in a similar situation or have a four year old just know that it is all a learning process and we can all get through it together. If you have any suggestions on how to discipline your pre-schoolers or any new habits you are teaching your little one I'd love to know. Leaving comments or email me on the actinides you and your kiddo enjoy to do!

It's a new year...let's talk resolutions!

With the new year comes our resolutions. A new year a fresh start! Last year I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and this year I am determined to overcome the obstacles that come with this disorder. Everyone makes those resolutions but very few stick with them. I must stick with them or at least stick very close to my plan. So, now that we've talked about resolutions....here are mine!

1. Spend less money
2. De-clutter my life
3. Travel and show Parker the world
4. Remodel my house
5. Stay focused
6. Build on my emergency funds
7. Ride our new bikes more often
8. Read a book a month
9. Write a book
10. Cook a meal at least 4 times a week
11. Do one thing on my bucket list
12. Do at least 3 things on my list of resolutions

What are your resolutions for the new year? And have you ever followed through on the resolutions you have made in the past?